(Average+) The Wild Robot

Movie in one sentence:
The same robot you've seen in every other kids movie learns how to love, just like the robots in every other kids movie

Movie in more sentences:
A robot wakes up in the wilderness, and wanting an assignment, teaches itself the language of the animals surrounding it in the hopes they can give it one.

When the animals make clear not to appreciate its presence, Roz figures on signalling its makers to come pick it up, but when it accidentally kills a mother goose inside her nest, sparing one egg, the orphaned chick changes all plans.

This would've been a better movie if nothing and nobody talked.

The idea these murderous wild animals possess even a speck of human intelligence that allows them to string together actual sentences using their barks and growls is just as laughable as the idea they can ignore their instincts and befriend each other. This kind of thing really shows we're dealing with a children's movie, while it didn't need to be. Some scenes in this were so comically harsh, maybe it's more accurate to say I hoped it wasn't going to be.

Rushed relationships are everywhere in this movie. A skeptical fox is instantly drawn to Roz, just because it pulled some porcupine needles out of its snout, and the movie doesn't even care to show how the goose chick was raised and how the robot changed alongside it. This thing is a baby in one scene, then an adult and ready to leave the nest in the next, with only a few comments to help us know what the three main characters feel for each other. This goose's life and relationship with the robot is pretty much the main plot of the story, so then, why is it so glanced over?
Then there's this elderly goose character who shows up out of nowhere and pretends to have known the robot since forever. Literally never seen this guy. Why couldn't he have been the one guiding Roz on how to raise the chick, instead of the fox? It would've made his interest in Brightbill and his eventual death more impactful. Spoilers, but whatever, this involves a character you've hardly seen on screen and won't be emotionally invested in, anyway.

I like the idea of this movie, wouldn't mind watching it again just for the first few minutes, but it's not as good people say it is.

(Average) The Substance

Movie in one sentence:
Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hide.

Movie in more sentences:
A once famous movie star sees her fame fading, and when she gets fired from her job as a TV workout instructor for being too old, decides to call the curious phone number given to her by a young man.

A mysterious package is left behind, with drugs and tools that promise rejuvenation, but not by any conventional means. A new girl is born from Elisabeth's body, claimed to be her, yet someone she can't control. The younger Sue keeps eating away at her, causing her to grow ugly and even older, yet she's unable to quit the drug.

..How did Elisabeth know what needed to be done? The package came with instructions, but they were so minimalistic, I would've never understood.

Anyway, this movie ended up being soft porn, very unfortunate. If the times a woman's crotch was shoved in my face was spent on exploring the inner struggles of the main character(s), this would've been a decent commentary video. I think that's what it wanted to be, but then there's the comically weird ending, and I'm left wondering.

It's also a bit confusing how these two women share one life. At first, it seems like they have each other's memories. They know where to find their house, workplace, and how "the substance" works after all, but then you have these moments where Elisabeth watches a TV interview starring Sue with curiosity about what she'll say, while Sue keeps waking up to trash lying around the house -evidentially not knowing she herself did this. So, then, they are not each other..?

Perhaps Sue only knows what Elisabeth knew at the point she first emerged, whereafter their minds became disconnected? The movie doesn't explain.

Wasted potential.